Poor service, unhelpful staff and an attitude that smacks of 'Sorry, Sir, I couldn't give a flying fuck'. Where are we? Yes, it's the wonderful institution that is the Post Office. But this isn't just any Post Office, it's one of the new and "improved" franchised efforts that are cropping up in branches of a well-known High Street retailer.

So what's the complaint?

Aside from the fact they are couped up like battery hens all day, doesn't mean to say that as a retaliation, they should dish out piss-poor service and be generally aggressive towards the customers, should they? Well in this particular branch, they are.

If you're going to advertise an offer, at least ensure that the offer didn't run out several months prior to a Sea Turkeys staffer purchasing said item and being very disappointed with you. Aside from the fact that the packaging was clearly marked and the offer was on display in store, despite the obvious fact it had finished, this particular staffer took it further.

Can a £50 cashback offer really get you twice that amount? Well, in our case it did.

Yes, despite the offer had finished several months prior to the purchase of the item, both the manufacturer and the retailer both gave us the £50 cashback. Each. Yes, that's a total of £100 and now a certain pub-chain's cash register is one hundred notes heavier.

When smoothies came out, they were super expensive and very popular amongst the trendies. Why, I hear you cry. Well, the simple fact of taking some liquidised baby-vomit and sticking it in a "100% organic" container gave them the chance to whack a massive pricetag on it, was a sure-fire way to make a quick buck.

Fast forward several months and news reaches Sea Turkeys HQ that Tesco are doing their own line of smoothies. A herd of wild horses couldn't hold us back at this point, as we all jostled for position at the checkout, smoothie in hand.

Mmm! Liquidised baby-vomit, anyone?

Surprisingly, ten months down the line, this complaint is still on-going. OK, so we haven't had the time to spare to get round to writing to this bunch of failures, but we've recently re-opened this complaint in the vague expectation of closing it once and for all.

Most couriers couldn't be relied upon and this particular firm is no exception. Not only did they steal a package destined for Sea Turkeys HQ, they even had the sheer audacity to forge one of our staffer's signatures. Even we know that's a criminal offence!

So, off goes our letter to the international parcel delivery company, care of the nearest zoo.

When you think of a chocolate bar, the chances are that the bar you think of will be produced by the worldwide firm Cadbury. Unless you're a die-hard Nestle fan, which is no laughing matter. We were very surprised to hear that Cadbury were a bunch of racists, yes that's correct. Not only are they being racist on their own, they've teamed up with The National Trust and now they're one big racist entity.

Sadly, neither of the two companies wrote back to us regarding this matter. Which we found very disappointing, but the original letter is still worth a read. Honestly, if you were hungry, would you eat a bar of chocolate produced by racists?